"Boy Diaries"

Day 1

I went to Target yesterday to do some shopping. I really like their dollar section, because I found some pink heart shape socks and was very excited about that. I truly enjoy hearts and since valentines day is next month I can't wait to see more different shapes of hearts out there. I know that a lot of single ladies hate this day, but on the contrary throughout the years I have learned to embrace it. I don't celebrate it anymore, but I can recognize that many times people in relationships need a day like this to re-evaluate why they are in love with their partners. Maybe it is overrated, but at least they can do something niiiice for each other.

On with the moment when I was making line to pay when I noticed in the aisle next to mine was this really attractive man. He stood out from any person who was in line. He was tall and had pretty brown/yellowish hair, he wore a black jacket and this cool white shirt with some design. I couldn't really tell because his open jacket covered it. He was that kind of man that knows his good looking but doesn't try hard to get attention. The funny thing is that making line behind him were these 3 young ladies. They all looked like they were in their early to late 20's. I was just on the other aisle admiring his good looks, because my line was not moving at all and the cashier needed a price check. I was not complaining but then I heard a loud sneeze. Yes it was him, and then I hear the three women saying "bless you." He kinda blushed it was pretty cute. The line I was in was still not moving and then I noticed that he was putting his things on the counter, but the funny thing was that the 3 women were standing touching the cart handle and looking at him. It appeared like the women were staring and admiring at some kind of exotic species at the zoo. I would have not mind standing with these women as well for just a moment of eye candy.

"Boy Diaries"

Today I said "hi" to a random guy. He was walking his two pug dogs. I was walking back to work and I noticed him standing in the corner of the street. He saw me coming, but I didn't realized why he wasn't moving. I thought he was waiting for someone. It was such a pretty sunny day that I didn't think much when he started walking towards me with his dogs. I could have just passed him by and not said anything like I usually will do. But for some odd reason and I don't know how or why I said "hi". He gave me a nice "hello" with a big smile and I continued walking. I was feeling so proud of myself, because I couldn't believe I had done such a simple thing like saying, "hi" to a random guy. He looked nice with a black beanie and a gray sweater, but of course I don't know anything about him, but it felt great to acknowledge a random boy. I think that for that moment I know that the possibility of a "guy" for me is somewhere out there. The whole idea of talking to men gets me all nervous especially if I find them attractive. I think I am liking the challenge of finding that one "guy" who is willing to ask me out on a real date.

"Boy Diaries..."

You can never be wrong or right about your feelings. Honesty is an important step in any given relationship. I wanted to move on forward and be more realistic with my feelings. I decided to write to one of my guy friend's that I have known for two years and express that I had a crush on him. My e-mail to him was short and simple and I know deep down that I was expecting some kinda of answer like "Oh, I didn't know you felt that way about me." (if you read this part make a manly voice on it.) I had two miss opportunities to tell him that I had a crush on him to his face. My real reason for the "I had a crush on you revelation" was that I wanted to know if there could have been a possibility a "tiny" chance of a maybe. But since he hasn't replied back with any type of sentiment then I shouldn't feel hurt or anything. I just wanted to feel those knots in my stomach when you are waiting for that person to say something to you that will change everything in that second. Perhaps he will never write me back but at least now I will not be so afraid of rejection. I think that the only reason why I had a crush on him was because he danced with me without feeling shy about it. There was something about him that made me happy even though it was for a moment. I have danced with other guys, but they didn't make me feel anything; so I will continue my quest of finding someone. Hopefully he does exist somewhere.