Good Bye 2011

It is time to say good-bye to another year and savior the sweet times we had. This year has been a roller coaster ride with many ups and downs...and tons of laughs. I learned a "HUGE" lesson this year about taking the time and appreciating myself a lot "MORE"...That I shouldn't leave behind the things I care about the most to make other people happy or try to solve their problems. I always have a positive outlook on life and I try to balance everything around me in order to help the people I care about.

November is going to be remembered as the month that I learned that putting myself first before anyone else is not a bad thing. That I shouldn't feel guilty for doing that. The one thing that I truly Loooooove about myself is that I still get all excited about listening to new music and going to shows and danciiing to my favorite songs live. I truly adore that 16 year girl inside of me that is still naive but full of life and that it is okay to dream, because the impossible can be possible.

I think that next year is going to be "funtastic." I have to be more of a doer...I have all the tools I need to embark in the new adventure of taking myself seriously as a writer. I need to peel away insecurities and hopefully I can appreciate myself more and take myself on lovely dates...

Thank you for reading this post and have the best "New Year Ever!"

Polaroid Madness

Crush Sound of the Week FUN...

Boy Diaries

The best times I have is when I get to hang out with my best friend Lisa at shows. We went to see the band "Beach Fossils." A couple weeks ago they made it to my lovely post of "Band Crush Sound of the Week." I am still completely blown away by their music and they are such sweet young men...I definitely had to tell Dustin that their music was the soundtrack to my day. Every time I listen to their music it makes me feel like I am in my own indie film. He replied with a sweet "Awww!"...

I think I will continue crushing on Dustin for a little while longer until I find my own Dustin version...ha, ha..

Crush Sound of the week Grouplove performing "Tongue Tied" on KCRW

Bells Palsy Suxxxx....

This week has been an emotional one for me. I feel like I am the protagonist of my own nostalgic film. When the character is finally happy and then some ironic twist in the plot they end up hurt. Last Thursday I was feeling pretty awesome it was just another ordinary day, but the only thing that was bugging me was my right eye. It was getting a bit watery and I was fearing the worse. I tried not to stress out about the situation. I got off work and went home.

Then on Friday my right eye continued to feel dry and watery. I went to work and came back home around 3:00 and that's when I knew that I had fallen once again victim to "bells palsy." A couple years ago I ended with bells palsy because I was having too much stress with school and work. I had to learn the hard way from my doctor about this disease. There's no cure for it and no one knows for sure what causes it. It gradually heals on it's own, but of course the person must massage their face and think positive that this thing will go away.

Right now I feel highly self-conscious about my face and how my right eye is all watery. I could barely talk right, because my lip goes to the right side. I am pretty lucky that I can smile, but I don't have a true expression on my right eye that changes my expression to happiness. I have been watching You Tube Videos of people showing their progress with the disease. I'll be honest but I just want to stay home and not show my face in public for awhile. But I know that I can't do that and I have to continue existing in the world even if people look at me funny or stare.

In reality I don't want to deal with this cramp, but I can't let it run my life for now. All I can say to anyone who reads this post is to be kind to people with disabilities.

Boy Diaries

You can confess your feelings and at the end it is not soo bad.
I thought he was never going to write back. I'll be honest I was dreading it simply because I value "his friendship." I know that long distance relationships never work out...but at least now I know what he truly thinks of me. He values our friendship and the fact that I am very special to him. He also wrote something at the end that made me feel very good...That I should always be "myself"... I think that every moment that a person feels confident in their own skin and life that reflects outward. Even that saying that goes "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is very true. I will continue on my search for that "guy" that will truly be for me...