Every You...Every Me....

Summer’s Gone

Flipping through the pages of my journal trying to remember the reason why I ran away to España for the summer. I reread all my journal entries about a girl who falls for her best friend. The poem I wrote about unrequited love. I thought running away from my feelings for him was going to make my heart heal faster. My heart just made me miss him a lot more. I will explain about Ethan later.

“This is your captain speaking I wanted to welcome you back to Los Angeles. We will be landing approximately in 10 minutes. I hope you have enjoyed your flight and we hope to see you soon.”

I am dreading the fact that I am back in L.A. I decided to return home on Sunday night one day before school starts. I wonder if my friends missed me this summer. I had a bit of a hard time keeping in touch with them, since I was backpacking through Spain with my step sister Lucia and her boyfriend Paco. I just wanted to lose myself in the adventure of exploring a foreign country. I even learned to miss home. I hope my mom is in the terminal waiting for me. There are so many people reuniting with loved ones’. I don’t see my mom anywhere. I’ll just sit by the seats that are next to the automatic doors. I’m pretty sure my mom will rush inside looking for me. Terminals are places that connect people together and at the same time pull them apart. I went from terminal to terminal memorizing the routine so well. I saw families saying good-bye and children clinging to their dad’s because they were going on a business trip and it was uncertain how long it was going to take them to return home. I was just the silent observer traveling and no one was waiting for me on the other side until today when I returned to L.A. I’m going to give my mom five more minutes to walk into this airport before I call her. I don’t even know if I have change to call her.

“Violet welcome back!” said mom as she hugged me.

“Mom what took you so long?”

“I lost track of time when I was revising the course syllabi for the Art History Class I am going to teach. Violet let’s stop talking about me. I want to hear all about your trip in España with your dad.” I didn’t want to disappoint my mom, but I didn’t spend one moment with him. I just left my suitcase at his house, because he had forgotten that I was spending the summer with him. My dad had made plans with his family to go to Sweden and that is how I ended up with Lucia. Perhaps I could give my mom the fictionalized version of the trip.

“Violeta did you practice tú Español en España?”

“Sí mama.” I responded.

Mom and I walked to the parking structure. She had her arm around my shoulder as I held my blue green suitcase. She was parked on the third floor of the parking structure. We found her black suv Tiguan and she opened the trunk for me so I can put my suitcase and bag pack inside.

“Violet did you take a lot of pictures?” asked mom as I sat in the passenger seat.

“I did.”

“Perhaps I could borrow some of your pictures for my lectures.”

“I don’t think that would be a great idea.”

“You are a great photographer and I would like to share your photos with my students,” said mom.

My mom went on with her pep talk about self-esteem. I decided to look out the window and pretend I was listening to her. I like looking out the window when my mom is driving on the freeway especially at night. I like seeing how the streaks of light beam through the headlights of the cars that pass us by. I always wonder what other passengers are thinking about when they are looking out the window. Maybe the woman that is in the jeep next to us is, thinking if that guy who is driving her home is the "one."

They are probably lovers and she is feeling nostalgic about how she will never be the true one for him. And that is why she is looking out the window than engaging in a conversation with him.

"What was it like hanging out with your dad all summer?" asked mom.

"Huh."

"Violet you didn't hear a word I said to you." said mom.

"I'm still in European time mom."

"Here we are. Home sweet home." said mom. She drove into the driveway. She turned off the car and got down. I sat for a second longer and then got down. I went to the trunk of the car and got my blue green suitcase out and my bag pack. I walked slowly up the steps took a deep breath and walked inside.

“Violet do you want a lite snack?”

“No, I’m fine. I am going to my room to unpack.”

“Okay sweetie, but if you want anything I will be in the kitchen preparing myself a snack.”

I went upstairs carrying my suitcase like if I were a stranger to my own home. I went down the hall and opened the door. Everything was in the same order as I left it in. I put my blue green suitcase and bag pack near the closet and lay on my bed.

"Ring, ring, ring, ring." I should let the machine take the message. "No, I should just get up and answer it. What if it is Ingrid wondering what I’m going to wear tomorrow to school." I get up and walk to the book shelf and answer the phone.

"Hello."

“Violet your back it's so great to hear your actual voice again.” Ethan said.

"What a surprise that you called." I said.

"I guess you haven't checked any of your messages."

"I just got back home. I haven’t checked. Ethan were you having a relationship with my answering machine while I was gone?"

"I called you all summer in hopes of getting a call back from you,” he said.

"Aww you missed me.”

"Of course I did. What about you?"

"I wish I could say the same about you."

"You didn't miss me one bit."

"Just kidding, I did. Ethan I want to hear all about your summer."

“Hey, Violet I'm going to put you on hold for a second. I'm getting another call."

"Okay."

I decided to feed my fish Leon. He was swimming upside down like usual. I decided to play with him and tickle his belly. He wouldn’t move, but that was not unusual, because he liked playing dead and a few seconds pass and he starts moving.

“Violet are you still there?” asked Ethan.

“Yeah, I am just playing with Leon. Who called you anyway that you had to leave your best friend on hold.”

“My girlfriend Priscilla,” Ethan said. There was an awkward silence between us.

“Violet are you there?”

“You guys are back together again?” I asked. A second pass by and Leon was not moving.

“Your voice sounds a bit crackly.” Ethan said.

“Oh no Leon is dying.” I hanged up quickly and tried to save Leon.

“Ring, Ring, Ring,” the phone went. I ran downstairs to tell my mom what had happened.

I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know what hurt the most the passing of my pet Leon or the fact that Ethan was again Priscilla’s boyfriend.

“Calm down sweetie.”

“He probably felt so lonely”

“You had Leon for 6 years that is a pretty long time.”

“I know. I should have comeback earlier and this would have never happened to him.”

“Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know this was going to happen. Do you want me to stay with you and keep you company?” Mom asked.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, honey I’m going to bed now. Feel better.”

“Thanks mom.”

I went back to my room and decided to check my messages.

I had two hundred and the most recent call was Ethan.

“Hey Violet it’s me Ethan. I’m sorry about Leon do you want me to come over. Give me a call when you hear this message it doesn’t matter what time. I will be waiting for your call.”

I am not going to call him. I need to find a box that fits Leon perfectly. I search in every drawer until I found a little white box. I take out my watercolor set and I start mixing colors. Tears are falling down my cheeks as I mix the colors to make a yellow-green. What an awful welcome home this has become.

Hey Everyone,

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